Monday, April 16, 2012

Nearly there

Assalamualaikum. The end of my break is nearly here. And I'm drowned in misery thinking of it. The idea of going back to that place is just making my head go a bit cuckoo.
It happens everytime. When my break's nearly over I tend to get all suffocated and my heart beats twice as fast. Can never formulate reasons for why it happens. 

My feelings since going to MRSM have been quite an enigma. I've kind of become capricious - one second feeling all frightened, the next feeling all jovial. I'm not lying, it happens quite often.
But what I do like is that, since going to MRSM, I've had more control over myself. Sure my feelings are unpredictable but I have more control over it. I do get moody a lot, but I choose to not let it show. And when I'm all mad I tend to calm myself by breathing in and out. It kind of helps.

If I was to turn back time, make life-changing decisions again - I would maybe change a few but I wouldn't change my decision to go to MRSM. MRSM TGB has transformed me into a whole new person.
I guess I would say I'm more mature now. And more confident of myself. But more self-conscious than before.
And most importantly? I've learnt the true colours of Islam. I've learnt how to create a true connection with my creator, Allah s.w.t . I've learnt how to love Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.
It's not like I was jahil about everything before this - but I didn't have the connection to Allah as I do now. I couldn't say my love for Muhammad exceeded my love for my friends.

But now, I've learnt to love Allah and Muhammad more than anything. To prioritise them above anything else.
And I thank TGB for that. I thank TGB for equipping me with all the knowledge I should've known ages ago. I thank TGB for making me feel even prouder for being a Muslim.

It may be the only reason I feel like staying in that stress-inducing place.
Oh well dearies, I gotta go and touch up the last of my work.
Au revoir.

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